Monstrously Good Karachi Curry

Preparation time:  45 min. if preparing with soaked beans, otherwise 25 min.

Serves:  Three

You will definitely need:

two cups brown rice

1 1/2 lbs of most any sort of cheap beefsteak

at least half a bottle of curry powder (4-5 tbs)

5-6 tbs of tomato paste/sauce/etc.

1/2 pint cream/milk/coconut milk

1/2 cup dried pinto beans, or tinned equivalent of garbanzos et al

spices such as fennel seed, celery salt, brown sugar, mustard, etc.

any number of supporting ingredients

Quite the process here, but it'll be well worth it!  The day prior, take your meat and cut it into strips, then cubes.  Pop them into a freezer bag, and add a tbs of Grey Poupon (the roughest, brownest stuff possible), a tbs of yellow curry powder, crushed fennel seed, and a bit of water.  Shake well and slag it into the fridge.  If you opt to use dried beans, put half of a cup or so in a Gladware container atop the fridge with some water; soaking now will save a lot of grief at cook-time.

Day next, ponder hard at what you'd like to eat in curry form; I decided to go for two red potatoes, chopped yellow onion, two hardboiled eggs, five chopped mushrooms, a generous handful of raisins, and the meat and beans.  Other tasty possibilities might be peppers (hot or not), sweet potatoes, celery, any sort of fruit (dried or not)... use your imagination!  But begin boiling your soaked beans in a pot of water and a liberal dash of salt; shouldn't take more than twenty or so minutes, if you've soaked them overnight.  If you opt for red potatoes, chop and add them to the boiling beans about ten minutes in.  Once they're all done and edible, consider them just another ingredient to momentarily add to the mix.

Otherwise (if dried beans are not your thing) cover the bottom of a sizable wok with butter and turn on to HI or MED-HI.  While that's heating up, begin preparations for yon rice; I use a rice cooker (Yan Can Cook!) and two cups of brown rice, which should about sync up with the curry preparation.  Once that's begun, add your drained marinated meat to the wok and begin dicing the onions, mushrooms, et al and add them along.  Pretty soon you should have a fairly wonderful-smelling affair cooking up!  Next, take a bowl and add several heaping tbs of curry powder, half a pint of half-and-half (or coconut milk, or milk) and four or five tbs of either tomato paste, spaghetti sauce - basically, something tomato-based that should serve to add color, flavor, and substance to the curry mixture.  Mix well, then add to your wok and again mix well.

At this point, assault your soupy mixture with HI heat and a barrage of spices.  Essentials include something hot (a nice spiral of Sriracha for me), something salty (I opt for celery salt, as it is an earthier flavor that shouldn't overpower the curry), and something sweet (a small handful of brown sugar should work wonders).  Other spices may include garlic (mushed, chopped, or powdered), fennel seed, mustard powder, soy sauce, paprika... again, beyond the essential three it's up to you the consumer to decide.

Once the wok is a bubbling stew of good flavor, try and let it boil on for three to five minutes, stirring and turning, really nannying your curry.  Otherwise, it will become a thick crunchy mess to scrape off the wok later.  Once it's reached that prime consistency (neither too soupy nor too dry, just nice and thick) turn it down to LO and give it a spoon-taste to see what you think; is it missing anything?  Now is the time to nitpick.

Another thing to consider (hopefully you've read this recipe well before mulling it through on the stovetop) is whether or not a side bread is to be considered.  I broiled up two thick slices of cheesy garlic bread for three minutes, towards the rice's completion.  However, there are many fine naan and flatbread recipes out there, for the adventurous.  Try them out!

Once the rice is done cooking, the meal should be ready to dish out.  Bowl up the rice first, then cover with a liberal quantity of your curry, bread possibly to the side.  (Goes well with coffee, although a tall glass of milk might be nice.)  And maze karein!  Guaranteed, you and your friends/family will be sprawled about on the furniture within half an hour!