Spamworthy Split Pea Soup

1 hour to prepare; amply serves 2

1 box Streit's split pea soup mix (or similar substance)
4 cups water
1/2 cup Spam, cubed
1/2 onion, 1/2 sweet potato, likewise chopped
pepper, herb d'Provence, 2 cloves garlic, etc
1/2 cup mushroom and 1 tomato, chopped

Begin boiling the water on the stove, as per the Streit's directions.  Once boiling, add the peas, garlic, sweet potatoes, and onion to the pot; cover and simmer on a LO heat.  Set your timer for one hour (total), bearing in mind the various steps during the cooking process.  Viz, add the Spam after thirty minutes; add the mushroom, tomato, and flavourant after forty-five.  At the hour mark the soup should be ready to eat!
Easy, eh?  But no split pea soup would quite be complete without a complimentary carbo to accompany it.  Having neither crackers nor corn meal (for some grade-A cornbread) on hand I've decided to resurrect my Quick-fix Zam Curry Bread.  When the soup is at the half-hour mark add to a bowl:

3/4 or 1 full cup of flour
a dash of salt
an ample dusting of baking powder
a tsp of curry powder and a dusting of chili powder
a dribbling of oil

Mix all this together with a butter knife and add some water from the tap; not a lot, now!  In marginal increments add to and mix the floury mixture until it becomes a nearly doughy (moist but still floury in texture) mixture.  Knead it into a ball with your hands and let it sit in the bowl for ten or fifteen minutes.  Heat up a skillet with a light covering of oil (like a home-infused garlic olive oil, for instance) and pressing the dough ball flat, fry on MED or MED-HI until browned a bit on either end.  Should be about ready as the soup finishes up, perfect for a spicy sop.

And viola!  A meal fit for a soup kitcheny king.

(Compliment with a fragrant glass of ouzo.)

Trottin' Pea Soup

So I was doing a bit of grocery shopping with the last of my stamps from Alaska, and I pass the canned-and-otherwise preserved meat aisle.  {Four, I think it was.}  Lo and behold, my eye caught the top-shelved jars of pickled pigs feet.  Never in all my days have I given them a go; no clue even what they might taste like.  So I buy one all the same, for experience sake.

Three weeks later, the thing is still in my fridge and I have no idea what to do with them.  And suddenly it hits me:  pea soup!  I mean, basically it's ham.  As for the rest of the story…

Preparation Time:  between one or two hours; honestly, it depends on the peas you buy.  Manischewitz pea soup mix takes about 45 minutes to an hour; Hurst’s should take between one to one and a half.

Serves:  plenty; I’d say ten or so servings sounds about right.

Requirements:

1# bag of split peas

1 jar of pickled pigs feet; drained, rinsed, and so forth {they emerge like Austin Powers from cryro-}

1 medium-sized onion, chopped into petals

3 cloves garlic

1 sweet potato, simply chopped

3 bay leaves, a douse of pepper and a brace of salt, with just a pinch of Old Bay

6 baby bella mushrooms, sliced

Directions:

Add 12 cups of water to a fairly large pot and add a dash of salt.  Throw in your peas, feet, onion, garlic, potato and spices; everything but the mushrooms.  Turn on to HIGH and bring to a boil; let boil for half an hour, stirring occasionally.  [Helpful Pairing:  In the meantime, make up a dose of cornbread; I don’t have any recipes in particular, sorry to say.]  After the first half hour has passed, add your mushrooms, and crank the heat down to a ‘2’ or MED-LOW setting.  Depending on the peas you purchased, it should simmer anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour and a half.  Basically, once the peas are broken down into a stewy mush.  Between that and your cornbread, your kitchen should be smelling quite fine!  {Makes great leftovers.}

Phenomenal Leek Soup

There's more to life than short stories and depravity; in addition to drinking coffee, I enjoy a bit of cooking now and then.  I don't know about the rest of you, but before doing a bit of bitterly cold pub-crawling I enjoy a spot of good soup and bread.  Here's a recipe I've tried from off of the http://www.aftouch-cuisine.com site[i], with only a few minor alterations.

Preparation time:  about 45 minutes

Serves:  fourish

Y'all {the royal You} will need:

3/4# leeks [about 4]

3/4# potatoes [I use Yukon Gold]

3 oz butter [lightly salted]

1 1/4 cup of heavy cream

2 litres water

some thyme and two bay leaves

salt and black pepper to taste

Optional Ingredients:

1 cup chopped fresh mushroom

1/2 chopped sweet vidalia onion

1 clove garlic

croutons & cheese to garnish

Directions:  finely chop up your leeks {keeping the white and whitish bits} and potatoes {I keep the skins on mine}.  In your pot, melt the butter and add yon leeks.  Cover and let simmer for 5 or 6 minutes.  Add the potatoes, water, et al and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat and simmer for 30-35 minutes.  If you planned to have garlic bread etc. on the side {recommended!} you may take this time to prepare it.  Fish out your bay leaves and {this is important} stir in the cream until fully incorporated.  Voilà!  Garnish with ample whathaveyou, and enjoy.

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[i] A fantastic collection of recipes, by the way.  If you like French cuisine, give’r a go.